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Homeschooling is three-and-a-half-foot-long library recipts.

Photo: Library-ing, homeschooling style. :D

My brother Joshua, shortly before the eight of us (counting Mom) took our seven or eight bags of books out to our elderly and temperamental nine-seater suburban.

And that, folks, is what has been keeping me busy lately, along with probabilities, square roots, negative numbers, essays on Mars, Moby Dick, a science module on the human digestive system, and a very cool book by Dierdre Le Faye (Could have some of that wrong, not sure) about Jane Austen, which has proved helpful for a Somewhat Complicated Project that I have appointed as a fill-in of sorts for history, as people tend to think that kind of stuff important. I’m not sure whether it’ll actually be useful in the long run, but at least I’ll know a lot about Georgian and Regency era fashion.

We’ve actually been doing really well about getting our library books back on time, lately, even if we return them the day they’re due after keeping them as long as is possible. And… I got Benjamin to read the Vesper Holly books, all six of them. I never expected to see my brother fangirl, Benjamin being the calm, quiet, capable person that he is. (Example: He killed three wasps for me this afternoon while I dithered and panicked just outside the room. He came out smiling a little bit and nonchalantly swinging the fly swatter. My dignity wasn’t wounded AT ALL) Nevertheless, over the past couple of weeks I have, quite frequently, walked into the living room and found him upside down in a chair, heels bouncing on top of the chair, clenching one of the books in a death-grip, and giggling/moaning/smiling/muttering/pumping his fists in an upside-down victory stance/shaking the book and lamenting about the fact that Dr. Helvitius (That most vile of creatures) has escaped once again. And, to top it off, just before starting the sixth book, he made sure that Vesper and Brinnie and Mary and Smiler and Slider and the Weed/Toby came back, and warily asked me whether Helvitius came back.

Yes, Benjamin. I know, Benjamin, he just won’t die. Sorry, Benjamin. Don’t worry, Benjamin, it’ll be okay. Don’t choke on your lunch, Benjamin.

And then, when he finished it, I thought he would never stop bouncing, let alone smiling. I think he’s glad I made him read them, which is good.

…On a side note, I just learned that America is best known for pizza delivery and software, which is sort of sad…

In other news, Dad has COMPLETELY FINISHED watching the Lizzy Bennett Diaries, Evelyn is going to enroll part-time in the local-ish public high school, mainly for an ACT-prep class, and Evelyn’s Arch Nemesis Matthew is moving into his college dorm tomorrow. Evelyn has been comforting him for the past half hour, assuring him that he will be fine, and that he will be the Matthewest Matthew they ever saw, and that when he struts in there, he is going to completely Matthew it up. All the way, I guess. Apparently he also needs eight-foot speakers to follow him around for when he introduces himself in a James Bond-esque fashion, so that dramatic music can play in the background. Funny that she’s having so much fun with this, considering they absolutely hate each other, and have vowed to be Arch Nemeses for all eternity.

Also, Maisy came back from the library with a Care Bears movie. It is quite possibly the weirdest and stupidest thing I have ever seen, before I ran away and hid with Going Postal. That rainbow syrup looks like it causes body-wide cancer. The wishing star looks like the kind of thing that is sweet in a kind of concerning way until you turn your back. Then it latches on with its stubby, brightly colored tentacles and sucks the life out of you. The whole plot (what there is of it) is ridiculous! It reminds me of Susan’s version of Jack and the Beanstalk in Hogfather:

And then Jack chopped down what was the world’s last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant’s children didn’t have a daddy any more. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done… Which proves that you can be excused just about anything if you’re a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions.  – Hogfather, by Terry Pratchett

So far, in this cutsey-wutsey little movie filled with brightly-colored bears who live on a pale pink cloud, we have encountered: manipulation/mind control, depending on how you look at it, power abuse, overworking to within half an inch of the victim’s bright, cuddly life with no respect to the limitations of the victim’s abilities, resulting in ecological vandalism, civic unrest, attempts at enticement, and as a final, devastating result to crown the whole thing… (prepare yourselves, folks…)

There’s not enough caring in Care-a-lot!!!!!! Whatever will we do?!?!?!?!?! If we can’t miraculously conjure up a plan out of our practically empty brains, that big, scary storm cloud on the pale pink and blue horizon will engulf Care-a-lot in misery and damp despair!!!!!!!!!!!!! But whatever we do, we have to do it with unhealthy amounts of optimism, bad planning, and a few musical numbers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And most likely, NOTHING WILL WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!But don’t worry, because if we all care as much as we possibly can, and be the very nicest bears we can be (Even grumpy bear!!!!!!) then surely by the end we’ll be ready for a great big song and dance routine about how great things are when you care, with all of our friends singing and dancing by our side!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As you can see, I don’t have a high opinion of the Care Bears. That movie is cheesier than a block of cheese. I kid you not. I’m going to need a great big dose of Moist von Lipwig and Adora Belle Dearheart (the most unlikely couple I have ever encountered) before I’ve fully recovered from that. Blue’s Clues and the Wonderpets are all the world needs, really. I can tolerate those. In any case, it’s only ten days until Deep Breath, the first episode of Doctor Who series eight broadcasts. I live in hope of maybe sitting in a McDonald’s parking lot or something like that and watching it online or something. That would be cool. I’ve heard that the Doctor gets grumpy, and tells Clara and a dinosaur and everybody to shut up, and Clara gets annoyed. That’ll be interesting. I haven’t seen much in the way of annoyed/angry Clara yet. 🙂

Anyway, I’m sitting right by an open window, and it’s getting a little cold, and this is already 1,024 words long, which means I’ve probably gotten on my soapbox a little bit somewhere about something, so I’m going to shut up.

Eleanor

 
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Posted by on August 14, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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